Autism isn’t always visible, and many of the challenges that neurodiverse workers deal with aren’t obvious from the outside. This post tries to explain some of the behaviours at work that might be interpreted the wrong way if you’re neurotypical.
I hope this gives a better understanding of what’s going on beneath the surface — and how you can support your autistic colleagues in small ways that can make a big difference.
We are not unfriendly or antisocial.
“You never come to after‑work events – you don’t seem interested in being part of the team.”
What’s really happening:
By the end of the workday, an autistic person has already been masking for hours and it’s likely their social battery is already going to be low. A day spent making eye contact and interpreting the tone of voice of their colleagues, managing sensory input from meetings, distractions from chat and email notifications and coping with background noise is exhausting.
At the end of the day a pub with music playing and loud overlapping conversations is going to be completely overwhelming.
What would be more supportive:
Please don’t be offended if we don’t want to join in – we know our limitations! If you want to include your autistic colleagues, consider some quieter alternatives that aren’t at the end of the day – a smaller group having a coffee meet‑up or a lunchtime walk would be far easier for us to participate in.
We are not trying to make more work by asking for emails instead of meetings.
“Why do you always try to avoid calls? It would just be quicker to jump on Teams!”
What’s really happening:
Verbal processing is harder for many autistic people.
In a meeting, they will be trying to:
- take in and process what’s being said
- think of an answer
- attempt to read the room and judge when it is their turn to talk
- and maintain the right body language and eye contact while people watch them and wait for a response
Written communication gives us time to process information properly and respond thoughtfully.
What would be more supportive:
If you want the best answer we can give you – start with an email or chat message.
If needed, we can meet afterwards — but the initial written context helps enormously!
We are not being awkward when we insist on advance notice
“Why do you get flustered when plans change? Everyone else just adapts.”
What’s really happening:
Autistic people often rely heavily on routines to manage their energy and focus.
A sudden meeting request means:
- shifting tasks
- re‑thinking the plan for the day
- trying to mentally prepare with no warning
This can be surprisingly draining or stressful, especially if the meeting requires social performance or rapid thinking.
What would be more supportive:
- Give as much notice as possible
- If something is urgent, clearly explain why
- Provide agendas and pre‑reading up front
Predictability isn’t a luxury — it’s an accessibility need.
We aren’t keeping our camera off because we aren’t concentrating
“Are they doing something else? Why can’t they leave their camera on – are they even paying attention?”
What’s really happening:
Having a camera on during meetings dramatically increases the cognitive load. Autistic people will be thinking about
- If they are making eye contact
- If their facial expression matches their thoughts
- How they are being perceived – do they look like they are listening?
All this takes energy away from actually listening! Keeping a camera off helps us stay focused, reduces sensory and social overwhelm and means we are actually paying more attention to what is being said.
What would be more supportive:
Don’t assume saying “cameras on everyone” is going to make sure people are giving a meeting their full attention. This often has the reverse effect for neurodiverse colleagues.
We aren’t being pedantic when we ask for detailed instructions
“You ask too many questions – can’t you read between the lines? Everyone else can just figure it out.”
What’s really happening:
Autistic people often struggle with unspoken expectations or vague instructions that require someone to figure out what is being asked.
If a task isn’t clearly defined in terms of outcome, priority, deadlines and dependencies we might genuinely not know what you meant.
Ambiguity increases anxiety and can lead to mistakes, so we ask questions to get it right the first time.
What would be better:
Encourage a culture of asking questions – it’s better for everyone when things are clearer.
To be even more proactive, instead of saying “I urgently need a report on our performance” – try “By the end of the day tomorrow, I need our sales figures for the last three months vs the same time last year and a page of text to summarise the trend. I will be including this in a presentation at the end of the week.”
Taking things literally is our default setting!
“When I said do that ASAP I didn’t mean drop everything else!”
What’s really happening:
If you ask an autistic person to ‘complete this task as soon as possible’ that is often exactly what they will do. Autistic people interpret language literally, focusing on the exact words spoken rather than underlying social context or irony.
What would be more supportive:
Say what you mean! If something is urgent, let them know how urgent. Should they finish their current tasks and then pick up the new work? Should they switch from the work they are currently doing to the new priority? Is it so important that it’s needed yesterday, and lunch breaks need to be moved to accommodate this concern?
We aren’t challenging your reasoning when we ask why things are needed or for you to break tasks down.
“Stop being so picky – you’re over‑complicating this!”
What’s really happening:
Autistic people are bottom-up thinkers – we need the small details to understand the big picture. Large, vague tasks can be overwhelming with no obvious starting point. Breaking work into smaller chunks gives us clarity on the overall aim. If we ask ‘why’ it’s not because we are challenging your logic or don’t trust your reasoning – it’s because it helps us understand the context of what is needed.
What would be more supportive:
Play to our autistic strengths: detail‑oriented, thorough, structured thinking. Let us work in the way that makes sense to our brains. You’ll usually get higher‑quality, more consistent results.
We don’t avoid the office because we can’t be bothered to drive in.
“You don’t seem to want to be part of the office culture. Some things are just easier in person.”
What’s really happening:
Offices contain dozens of sensory triggers:
- bright lighting
- hot desking now means sorting your chair, monitor, keyboard and mouse so they are all comfortable to work
- chatter
- background music
- small talk
- the smell of other people’s lunch
- constant interruptions
Working from home removes these stressors and lets us manage our environment so we can focus and stay regulated.
What would be more supportive:
Understand that remote working isn’t about avoiding the team, it’s an accessibility requirement, not a preference.
I don’t expect people to change everything about how they work, just to have little bit of understanding that what might seem like “odd behaviour” is often self‑preservation for your co-worker.
Small adjustments such as clearer communication, written summaries, respect for processing time and lower‑sensory social options will make a massive difference to your autistic colleagues wellbeing and productivity.
If you ever want to understand more, I’m happy to go into more detail — as long as you put it in writing first 😉